Saturday, 24 March 2007

From the Ridiculous to the Sublime

I've never thought much about reverse karma before but this incident has convinced me of it. This is one story that's so good you couldn't make it up. It concerns someone we'll call Stella. And no, Stella is not me.

Time: Christmas 2006
Place: Office Party

Stella's had an exhausting week. Big report, new job offer, relationship issues. Add in copious champagne abuse on account of the promotion and the Christmas party proves to be a let-your-hair-down affair of the highest order. In the haze of the late evening she trips, falls on the dance floor, picks herself up, dusts herself down, and carries on flailing merrily to some Euro-pop.

Cut to the new year when one particular colleague limps down the corridor towards her, encased in plaster. Never having exchanged more than a few pleasanteries with him before, she asks innocently, "what happened to your leg"? Of all the responses to this question the one least likely to be uttered is surely "YOU!". Blank. Clueless. Then - oh no. Images come tumbling into her mind of that slow-motion fall and curiously soft landing.

On discovering that her drunken actions led him to spend a night in a French hospital and cancel his skiing holiday, she is clearly embarrassed and partakes in a little grovelling. But this guy is one manipulative bast*rd. He acts injured at every possible opportunity over the next few days, works her emotions, then invites himself to lunch at her expense.

Who could refuse a chance of redemption? So she went along. They connect. And he starts dropping by her office, sometimes with flowers, sometimes with chocolate. Those pallid imitations of romance that are the preserve of the confirmedly non-creative. Then he tries to kiss her.

Only thing is, he's married. Just married in fact. Not only that but it turns out he has a wicked tongue and had let slip all kinds of bitchy things about her before his little infatutation started.

She found out. She blanked him. She broke his leg. And she broke his heart.

Just goes to show: what goes around comes around. Only sometimes it happens anti-clockwise.

1 comment:

Amy said...

oh my god, who is this?!