I always suspected that the Scottish Executive was just one big propaganda machine. This has now been confirmed by revelations that Scotland is officially the worst small country in the (developed) world in terms of health, education, employment rate and economic performance. Scotland also fell by one place, to 17th, in the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development's table of the world's 24 most developed countries.
Given that we are constantly being told how 'pure dead brilliant' we are - not to mention the 'best small country in the world' - this is highly ironic. I'm pleased though. I have sat through far too many self-satisfied debates in Holyrood where MSPs, Ministers and Civil Servants are happier to believe their own rhetoric than look at our country's problems objectively. It's time we stopped covering up our flaws and actively sought solutions from abroad.
According to a report published by FSB Scotland today,
"Scotland is the worst small country in western Europe, and requires urgent action to improve both our life chances and life expectancy...We are already far down the table of comparator countries, and on every count we are travelling in the wrong direction"
Needless to say, Glasvegas retained its status as Scotland's black hole, emerging as the worst performing local authority area in the country, with the poorest record in three of the four indicators: mortality, education and employment.
I'm pretty sure that the only solution to this problem is expel Glasgow from the Union - perhaps it could become some kind of principality like Monaco. It certainly has enough casinos...